Book 21

Today was the day of the contest. Penelope brought out my bow this morning. To finally decide who would be wed my wife they would try to string my bow and with it, shoot an arrow through 12 axe head loops. Impossible. No man could do what I could do, but they humored me anyway. According to plan, Telemakhos failed first. This made the suitors think that Telemakhos was no threat. Then the other suitors tried. All I have to say is HAHAHAHAHA!!! No of them could do it, besides Antinoos and Eurymakhos only because they waited in the back. Just as I was collecting myself from all the laughter, I saw the swineherd and cowherd leaving. After assuring their loyalty to me, I revealed my identity to them. Yeah, that club just keeps getting bigger. I asked them to help me with me plan to murder the suitors. I just told them to lock some doors so that the screams of the dying suitors won't be heard. That way their shrieks and cries for help won't be heard, and their will be no hope for any of them (at this point I let out an evil laugh). I return back to contest, and Eurymakhos was up next. Of course he did not even string the bow. Before Antinoos's turn, he suggests that we all try again tomorrow, and that we will pray for Apollo the Archer to be with us. Then I make the suggestion that I may participate in the contest, and sarcastically said what a good idea it is to rely on Apollo. I have learned that relying on the gods doesn't always work out. That is why I requested the help of the herders. I needed some tangible allies. Antinoos, man I hate that guy, shoots that idea down even faster that I could ever shoot him down. He suggests that I am drunk, and that wine can do bad things to a man. What a hypocrite. He gets drunk everyday, and no one yells at him. After he is finished scolding, my wife sticks up for me. This arguing goes on until with Penelope until, just as planned, Telemakhos takes over. He firmly establishes himself as the master, and send Penelope to do women things. I did not realize how blown back she would be. The swineherd brought me my bow according to plan also. He stopped though when the suitors yelled at him. Then Telemakhos, in a futile attempt to takeover the situation, tells the swineherd to bring it to me for he is master. The suitors laugh. My son, bad orator, good comedian, they are one and the same. So I receive the bow and to my shtick. Hurray I did it, whoopdee-doo. This is the moment though I've been waiting for. I give Telemakhos the cue, and he suits up. All the doors are locked, I am on the field finishing writing this, and its butt kicking time.

Book 20

I went to sleep last night to the sound of my own maids laughing, and heading for the suitor's bedroom. How could they turn on me like that? I just wanted to burst from my bed and strangle them all. However, I did not do this. Instead Athena calmed me by giving one of her famous pep talks. I just loving falling asleep to the thoughts of slaughtering my enemies. When I awoke to Penelope's sobs, I leaped from bed. From there I went outside. I asked Zeus to show me a sign that I was following his heading, and that he was with me. Suddenly a lighting bolt crashed from the cloudless sky. It was awesome, and I knew Zeus was listening to me. One of my own handmills agreed with me. A while later, the swineherd had arrived at the palace for the suitor's feast. I met Philoitios, a cattle herder, who misses Odysseus like everyone else. I assured him that Odysseus shall return. We talked a bit more, and then joined the feast. Then, of course, the suitors started their usual "let's pick on the homeless guy" routine. Telemakhos ignored their foul words until one new addition to the suitor gang threw a cow foot at us. How lame is that?! I just wanted to shove that cow foot up his posterior, if you know what I mean. But I did not. Over these past days, I have learned one important lesson that even surprises me now: Although keeping emotions inside can be harmful to a man, in some circumstances it can be the best possible choice out there. After the cow foot incident, Telemakhos blew a fuse. I never knew what a man he has become. He no longer feared the suitors, but instead stood up for what he believed in. I am only sorry to miss him growing up. It was silent for a while, until the suitors started to talk again. However the visionary Theoklymenos grabbed my attention. He said the suitors were surrounded by darkness so that they cannot see the truth of what is really going on around them. They do not see my plot, or how their presence plagues the country. To this they only laugh and kick the visionary out. At the meal, and even now, I prepare for the slaughter of the suitors. Till that day.

Book 19

How does one do today? Sorry, its Odysseus and I'm just trying to spice things up a bit. I know that it is taking a while for me to kill the suitors, but it will happen sometime. However that day was not today. We took our first steps by moving the weapons into the inner hall for easy access. after we finished that, Telemakhos went beddy-bye, and I had an unfriendly encounter with Melntho. However, if it wasn't for our little feud, Penelope, who looked like a million sun shines upon Mt. Olympos, called me in to her chamber where I sat on a rather comfy bench. She asked me my origins, and I told her I couldn't because it would pain me to much. That was the truth, if I was Odysseus again. But eventually she forced it out of me through a guilt bomb. I told her the lie I had told everyone else about Krete. I said I had seen Odysseus, and he stayed with me for thirteen days, but then left. At this she started to weep profusely. Yes, I had to sit there, while my wife cried her eyes out for something I could grant her right there. It was torcher, but I did not show it. She then asked for proof, which I might have put too much detail into, but after hearing that she cried again. I had to do something. So, I told her the truth, as a third neutral party observer of course. I told though of how I landed in the Phaikian kingdom, and how I would be heading for Ithika soon to slay the suitors. Whe I say "I", I mean Odysseus. Instead of crying she replied in a pessimistic way. She said how lovely it would be if I returned, but how I could never do that. Thanks for the encouragement Penelope! Then she mentioned some dream. She got all excited, and had her maids bath me and oil me. However that sounds swell, I refused. For that might give away my identity. But I allowed Eurykleia to bath me. When I took off my clothes, and she washed my legs, she immediately recognized the scar I attained before the war by a boar. I completely forgot about that. Nothing ever good happens to me when I take my clothes off. I grab her throat and threatened to kill her if she ever told anyone that Odyseus was in Ithika. I'm still working on that whole violent obsession thing. Somehow, Penelope did not hear the shrills of joy Eurykleia let out. She promised not to tell, and after the bath Penelope asked me to join her in her bed. I was astonished. I thought that she was the loyal one. However, like me she was lonely for many years. When all this is over, that is going to be one awkward conversation. Any who, after she complained how lonely she was and how I would never return, she asked me to interpret a dream. The dream was me, as an eagle, swooping down and killing twenty suitor geese. Although she just thought of it as nonsense, I think that this dream reflects Penelope's deeper feelings about the situation. So she does believe in me. And on that dreamy note, we all went to sleep. Which shall soon includes me.

Book 18

It was not such a good day in the life of an old beggar (me, Odysseus). The suitors were their jerky selfishy selves. Oh, and someone threw another bench at me. I know, right?! Well, besides the suitors and smokin' Penelope, I had a little chat with the only perosn I realy felt I could trust at the time, besides my son. This was Amphinomos, son of Nisos. He is clear minded like his father, so I had to tell someone what I had learned, while still maintaining my disguise. I first told him how man is the most fragile of all the gods creations, and how man always believes everything is okay.I said that man relies on god given talents too much. I think I told him this just because I was one of those men. I relied on the gods to give me strenth and set out whether a day would be good or bad. They controlled my life, but I now learned that I have control in my life. The result however of letting them control my life, was the state I am in now (as a beggar and as Odysseus). However, I still like relying on the gods. If Zeus and Athena do not help me slay the suitors, someone be eating dirt from the graveyard if I'm not there first. I reminded Alphinomos something else important. No man is above the law, and yes that includes the suitors. Also I told that one's gifts should be used occasionally and appreciated, but that is it. I learned this by using my strenth in fighting and competition and war as well. These did nothing but cause an obsession within me, one that I cannot stop either. Maybe after I kill the suitors I'll be off the stuff for good. We'll see. Back to the Rule of Law, I advised the suitors to stop their actions and warned them that Odysseus, me, is near and will make them pay in blood. Wow, I realy am obssessed with fighting. Oh well, its not somehting I can cure overnight. So goodnight.

Book 17

Hey, its Odysseus again. Just here to tell everyone how amazing I am at disguising myself! Well it all started this morning when I got up. My son already had his sword tied in and ready to go. What a good boy he is. So, we all got up and Telemakhos decided that should return to sweet Penelope, and that I should also be brought into the city to beg (I wa still a beggar in the swineherd's eyes). So Telemakhos left, and then after we at breakfast we also left. We made our way, but before we did I got myself a walking stick. I was really just trying to play up the part. As we got nearer to the city, we met Melanthios. As soon as he took one look at us both he started to make fun of the odd couple we made. Then he had the nerve to kick me as he passed. I was so angry that I was about to just knock him down with the power of Zeus in my fist. But I had self control, unlike the swineherd. He prayed that Melanthios's flock would perish. Unfortunatly, he was going in the same dirction as us, and stayed with us until we reached my hall. At that point he joined the suitors. I should have known he was one of them. Just as we were about to enter the gate, I saw my old dog, Argos. I loved him so much, and now he lay with the dung. I had to shed a tear, and we moved on. We entered, and Telemakhos gave us bread and meat. However he told us also to go and beg from the suitors. Like Athena said to me, we could see who was decent and who was evil and would be slain first. So we went thorugh the line of suitors, and they filed my bag with bread. However Melanthios had to say somehting, which caused Alkinoos, the worst suitor of them all, to say something about why I shouldn't be there.Some people will just always be evil. Eumaios responded, but Telemakhos saved him the long speech. Alkinoos then tries to impress and calm Telemakhos by giving me a stool. Sarcastically I thank him, but also say how I was burdened with beggars too when I was rich, and was kind to them. Alkinoos did not like that. He just went on and on about what trouble I'll be in with him if I keep going. So I yell at him for his greediness. That was the last straw for him. As I walked away triumfantly, he threw a bench at my back whic sounds worse than it is. I am really going to enjoy this slaughtering of suitors, but the time has not come. I yell at him again, but he stops me and send me off. So I left, but a few minutes later, the swineherd comes out to me saying that the queen wishes my presence. Although I am overwhelmed, I refuse until the darkness and safety. Till then my love, and I waited.

Book 16

Sorry I did not write in a while. I have been so occupied by this whole "returning home" thing. I didn't even recognize Ithika when I finally landed there.Oh yes, I made it back to Ithika. Hurray! Like I said though, I didn't recognize it. Now I am staying with a swineherd who, like most people, were told a lie when they asked who I was. Today, however, something amazing happened. I woke up at the swinherd's house like usual. We stated up the fire, and made some breakfast. Then, right in the middle of our wonderful meal, someone comes walking in on us. The watchdogs don't even bark at the stranger walking up our path. We just hear sniffing and footsteps approaching the door way. That gap is soon fillied with a man I thought I would never see. It was Telemakhos. The swineherd greets him with tears in his eyes like a good father should. Apparently they know eachother very well, and my son has been away from home for half the time I have. And I, the real father, just sit there. Of course my son does not recognize me, which is disappointing, but we have never met before. Eumaios, the swineherd, tries to place me in Telemakhos's care. Telemakhos, clearly not having the fatherly model in his life, complains that he is to weak and young. He does agree to help me through the winter, but will not allow me to stay with him due to the suitors that I have heard so much about. I ask Telenakhos why he does not fight them, and simply responds that he is too young to do anything about it. He then sends the swineherd to tell Penelope of his return. This leaves me and my son alone. Athena speaks to me, and cleans me up a bit. I must admit that I sure clean up good. At any rate, I approach Telemakhos, and reveal to him my identity. He first does not trust my new appearance, but then we both burst in to tears. It was a real father-son moment. We discuss the problem of the suitors. With the help of Zeus and Athena, I'm sure that we can slaughter them. However, when I was informed that suitors roamed my hall, I was thinking around a dozen or two. One hundred suitors though could be a problem. So, we hatch an elaborate plan to defeat the suitors. Although I am a warrior, brains before brawn still applies. When the swineherd returns panitng, he tells us of the other messenger we sent. With a smirk, we both ignore the comment. I think that we are actually starting to bond. And on that note, we all get a good nights sleep, which I would enjoy ot be appart of now.

Book 12

My story continues to King Alkinoos. I pick up after leaving the Realm of the Underworld, and we make our way to Aiaia. There, I kept the promise I made with the shade of Elpenor, and gave him a proper burial. We took off once again, and the next land we saw was that of the beautiful Kirke. She restocked our ships, and all day we drank and ate till we we all swore never to eat again after our last piece of beef. It was great, and quite a change in tone from our trip to the Underworld. Later that night Kirke warns me of the dangers of the Seirenes, and the different paths I could take home. She warns us of Skylls and Kharybdis. We leavave Kirke's paradise, and chose the path of the forked land. We first pass the Seirens,who sing a song that would brainwash even the most shy men into loving them. I warn the men to tie me, and give them wax to plug their ears. We pass, and disoeyhing my usual pattern of self-control, I go beserk for the Seirens. Luckily my men hold me back. By the way, please don't mention this to my wife. After we pass the Seirens with success, we start to head towards Kharybdis's whirlpool. I tell the men to disband their fear and row like they have never rowed before. And it actually worked. Until Skylls stole six of my finest. I can still hear their cries as I sit hear right now. But we did pass with minor losses, and came across Helios's island. I learned from past experience that following your pleasures has consequences you must deal with. So, I told the men to keep rowing. However, Eurylokhos, being the baby he is, convinces the men to go ashore. After we land, a brutal storm hits which keeps us there for a month. Slowly our provision die down, but I know that if we kill Helios's cattle, he'll burn us like rice paper. In a desperate attempt to save our men, I slip away to a shelter where I try to pray for our men. Instead, Zeus puts a deep slumber upon me. Next thing I know, I smell smoke and everyone has stomach's full of Helio's cattle. Now the waters quite down, so I think it was the perfect time to get the heck out of there! We sail smoothly for a while, but then a storm hits. The second to worst happens. Zeus takes one of his white thunder-bolts and hurls it at us. It destroys my crew and ship. Alone I grab some wood an tie it toghether to make a raft. Then the worst happens. The storm starts to bring me back to Kharybdis. I survived her whirlpool, and remained unseen from Skylls. I drift towards Kalypso, and that is where my story ends (Well, not literally. I still amke my way eventually to where I am now).